My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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