I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
