I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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