They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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