Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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