How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
this beer tastes like vomit already
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
