so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
