We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
