Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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