I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
