I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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