Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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