he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Randomize