I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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