I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
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i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
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I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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