I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
