if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
