I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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