I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
