The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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