This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
We left an ass print on the piano.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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