So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
