i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
