am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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