I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
