Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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