Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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