AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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