Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
