Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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