who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
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Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
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Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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