I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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