I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
