someone threw a dead crab at me
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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