but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize