The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
