A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
