i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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