Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
