I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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