..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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