I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just blew my weed a kiss
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
