I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
