Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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