Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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