Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
