I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
