no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
