Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
