she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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