his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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