you guys were way drunker than both of me
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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