Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
