I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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