fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
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