Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
