i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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