Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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