Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
