just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
