I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
