Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
