Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
