dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
