Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
this will be a night to untag.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
