I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
