she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
